Aren't You Supposed To Be Sleeping?
by Ein Kampf kann eine Lebenszeit
Summary: Edward is going to kill me in the morning," I said. "Don't worry. This frightening little monster will protect you," she said cheerily. Jasper and Alice have some fun influenced by certain... siblings. Please read and review! One shot. FLUFF!


**Yes, not much to say here... read the other note at the bottom...  
**

The even rising and falling of her chest was beautiful. Granted, she didn't need it, and she didn't even need to act like she was sleeping. She was peculiar. She wanted to know what it was like to do nothing but nothing during the night, as humans did. It had been five minutes since the last time she had closed her eyes. I remember her telling me not to let her out of this one, no matter what. And I was sticking to that.

"Alice, don't try it," I said, starting to sense her become restless. She let out a puff like a child who got caught getting cookies from the cookie jar before dinner would.

"Jasper, it's so _boring_ though," she complained. Her voice never went into different octaves unless there was a sale at one of her favorite stores, and for that I was thankful.

"Alice, I know it's boring, I can feel this, and it's annoying me as well. But, you gave me distinct orders to not let you back out of this one, and here I am, upholding those orders," I said. I hadn't meant to let my military days slip in there, but they did. Accidentally. Maybe not, but she didn't need to know that. She rearranged herself so that each of her legs were on either side of me. I felt pinned. I practically was, and she was the only person to ever have me pinned. Granted, I could take her off me any time I wanted to, but she was Alice, so I tolerated it. More like enjoyed it, but again, she didn't need to know.

Her left arm was draped over my shoulder now, and her right arm raised in a mock salute. "Yes, sir," she said with a smile and a playfully serious voice. If anyone else had done it, I would have corrected them, but when Alice did it, it was adorable. My hands were resting on her hips and her right hand was draped over my shoulder.

"Now, please tell me how you intend to pretend to sleep like that," I said pointedly. She opened her mouth, but only a 'meep' came out. I let out a small laugh.

"Oh my God Rose, did you hear that? I think Jasper laughed," I heard Emmett say mockingly from his room across the hall. Alice and I rolled our eyes as one of them knocked on our door. Alice got up grudgingly and opened the door. I leaned against the headboard of our completely unnecessary bed that Alice insisted that we have.

"Emmett wanted me to tell you that the emo in the corner should laugh more often, one day the world might end because of it," Rosalie said in a plainly bored voice. Her arms were crossed, and she wasn't even looking in the room. Alice, being who she was, just smiled.

"Oh, I can do that," she said suggestively. Damn him. Damn him to the very depths of, well, hell was too cliché, but damn him to the depths of something.

No, don't damn him. How long had it been? Not that that's what I looked forward to in my relationship with Alice, but on the rare occasion that we did, it was… exceptionally enjoyable.

Rosalie looked at Alice, and that was when I realized what she was wearing. It was a very low cut, what had Alice called it? Tube top? And very short shorts, or perhaps they weren't shorts. Her hair was out of place, and I suddenly realized why those thoughts had entered my mind. And why Alice was suddenly looking very provocative in her short nightdress.

Rosalie turned from the door quickly, noticing my look of horror. I knew what was coming, and I knew there was nothing I could do to prevent it. Alice knew as well, and perhaps this was her vision she wanted to keep from me earlier… Alice closed the door, and was pinning me to the bed yet again. Her hands were on my shoulders, and I could feel my hands wanting to put themselves on her hips, but I was trying to resist temptation. And I was quickly losing. Before I could stop them they were there, and she was nipping at my ear.

"Alice, you're supposed to be sleeping," I said strongly. It only occurred to me when she replied what I had said.

"I can't sleep, silly," she giggled in my ear. I couldn't help but smile. I could feel myself losing control, and Bella was staying the night. Edward wouldn't appreciate it, I'd hear about it in the morning.

I flipped her, so I was hovering over her and her hands were above her head, being kept there by my own. "You can pretend," I suggested in a soft voice. I knew I wouldn't be able to stop her if she had already made up her mind, she was persistent, but I was thinking of Edward, and Bella, and our parents.

"I think the time for that is passed," she said, squinting her eyes as she did. She leaned up to give me a gentle kiss, well, it started as a gentle kiss. Emmett and Rosalie were becoming more active in their activities, and that was affecting me, which was in turn affecting Alice. She deepened the kiss, and I almost stopped her, but didn't.

My right hand traveled down the side of her body, resting just on the small of her back. Her back was arching to me, and I was reminded of how small she was. And just how strong she was. She soon had us flipped again, and I just couldn't allow that. I picked her up by her waist and took us to the dresser. We never broke our kiss. She situated herself once I had sat her on said dresser, and her arms found their way around my neck again. When she sat on the dresser, she was the perfect height for both of us. It was sad to say that was how we bought this dresser. But it was the truth.

"_But see, standing up, you have to bend down too much, and I have to stretch on my toes. It'll make things easier if we get one where I can sit down and we're both perfect," she said, tactless as ever. The sales person was looking at us discuss this, her sitting on the dresser we were looking at with an almost revolted look. She felt that way too. I felt sorry._

"_Alice, we've discussed this, and we've also discussed where not to discuss this at," I said, raising my eyebrows in the lady's direction. Her revoltion to the subject almost made me sick. But this was Alice, the Queen of No Tact. She would discuss anything anywhere and as much as she wanted. Just one downside to her being persistent. _

"_Jasper, I'm sure no one here has a problem with it. They all do the same thing behind closed doors, I'm just open enough to not be embarrassed by it, or you," she said, her pout becoming more prominent. _

"_I'm not embarrassed by you, it's just common courtesy not to talk about your personal life in public. Thus the term personal," I said sweetly. I hoped she wouldn't make a deal out of this. I sent calming waves towards her. She didn't like it when I did that, but I only did it when we were in public and she was about to break down._

"_Jasper, don't you dare try to calm me down, I deserve this one," she said, her voice getting louder. That was never a good sign. For anyone._

"_Alice, deep breaths," I said. I'd seen many couples say this when one was over reacting about something, and it seemed to work. She took deep breaths, and started talking to me at inhuman speeds._

"_I do not need deep breaths, Jasper Whitlock Hale, and the next time you try to calm me down you will regret it," she said. When she was upset, she reacted with threats. How… unorthodox. But everything was unorthodox with Alice, and that's why I loved her. Mostly. _

"_Do you have anything taller?" I asked, turning to the sales lady, whose eyes were wide. She didn't know what to think. As far as she was concerned, we were newly married, but she was still astounded by the fact that we were so young, I was guessing. Edward would know better than I. She nodded, and led the way. Alice wouldn't move from her small dresser dash seat, so I picked her up and carried her. She didn't talk to me for the rest of the outing._

_When we got home, new dresser included, that changed. We walked in, and after the deliverers carried the box in to the house and left, Alice may as well have exploded._

"_How dare you Jasper! I was in complete control, and you saw fit to calm me down! I thought we agreed you would only manipulate my emotions when you saw fit!" she said. She was about to continue, but her own words caught up with her. "Oh, um. Did you see fit?" she asked, much calmer now. Her mood swings frightened me sometimes._

"_I did. And I'm sorry, it was wrong of me to do that," I said. Hopefully I could get on her good side again. I thought I already was, but it was always good to make sure._

"_Jasper, you don't need to apologize. I was acting out, I think. You had every right to do that," she said in a sincere voice. The three feet that had separated us before were gone now, and her arms were wrapped around my waist, and my arms were around her shoulders. I bent down and kissed the top of her head._

"_Let's just never go shopping for bedroom accessories again, okay? There's always the internet, and I'm sure you wouldn't mind paying shipping, would you?" I suggested. She nodded against my chest._

"_I'm sorry. I think it's Bella. She's been having mood swings lately, and I think I might be picking it up," she said. She loved Bella like a sister, but if anything like this ever happened, she would be the first to blame Bella. Perhaps Alice blaming Bella for something like mood swings was better than Rosalie blaming Bella for something else._

_But Bella had been having mood swings. I knew, unfortunately. So, perhaps, I _was_ to blame for this fiasco. I wasn't a female, I didn't know how to deal with those feelings. I figured if I passed them on to other females, it wouldn't be so bad. Apparently that back fired, but again, Alice didn't need to know. _

Somehow we had ended up on the couch. She was beside me, giddy as ever. I was as well, but other thoughts had begun clouding my mind.

"Edward is going to kill me in the morning," I said low enough so only she would be able to hear. She laughed.

"Don't worry. This frightening little monster will protect you," she said, kissing my cheek lightly. I smiled as well.

**OK. Explanation! So, I wasn't about to write on of those scenes, right? So I found a loophole. Stephenie said that vampires could have more than one train of thought going at a time (lucky peopleish) and so I took full advantage of that. Yes, who would have thought Jasper would ever remember the time they went shopping for a dresser? OK, well, apparently me. So yes. I like it. Not really, truth be told, I don't know what to think of it. But that's just me, so I guess you shall learn to deal with it if you like my writing. Lol, I'll love you all either way. **

**Oh, and if you caught the pun in there, I'm not saying where, but if you caught the punish, you should tell me in a review. I was reading and was like, "Well, that's a funny little awkward pun, innit?" Anyway, please review. If you review me, I shall review you. I swear, starting with this story, every review I get from here on out will get a return review. :D Because I'm that nice. **

**Good lord, this turned into a lengthy author's note, didn't it? Anywho, review! (hehe, that kinda rhymed... I'm a freak, yes, I know)**


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